Living as a coward

George Offerman

I was able to spend some time with my nephew Doug recently. He is a remarkable young man who has been through some horrendous life experiences, and fortunately, has come out of them much healthier and stronger than before. I had the privilege to be part of this process, having gone through some of my own traumatic experiences 27 years earlier.

Trauma and life threatening events have a way of bringing great clarity to most events in life, and once the blinders are removed, nearly impossible to return to one’s prior state of being. There is no desire to go back to that state, but great challenges in living out the alternative reality that life is not fair, and ultimately, I am accountable for my life and the decisions I make.

We were discussing some rather challenging subjects, having to do with the future, when we got to the point of determining what value life has. I told him “living the longest is not the goal, but living the best is.” We then discussed how convenient it is to do little to nothing when challenged, but how difficult it is to then excuse this cowardice.

I often hear from people the excuse “This is small but I will be there when the large life events occur”. It seems most are not aware that the small events are practice leading up to the large events in life. Why would one, who does not act in small events due to inconvenience, all of a sudden act on the large events with potential catastrophic consequences? The sad truth is they will not.

It seems too many people, including Christians are caught up in their ‘image’ and are more concerned about the next party invitation and status than being ‘inconvenienced’ by challenges and the truth. Unfortunately for them, God is a God of inconvenience, and shows up at the most unexpected times and places. We have to be prepared for this and this preparation is ‘dying to self daily’.

I told Doug this is my biggest challenge. Dying to self every day is preparation for the day I am called from this life. Some days go better than others, but it is not convenient, comfortable or easy when challenged. We then discussed fear. I know as a human I will be afraid of death the day it comes, but I believe God will give me the strength when I need it, as this has been the case in almost all matters that require faith. This is what I’m counting on.

I have had many people tell me recently to ‘lay low and don’t draw attention to yourself”. This may be their calling, but not mine. I know the time is drawing near when we will be called to sacrifice greatly and the preparation must take place when there is at least some semblance of calm and freedom to do so. It may seem foolish to some to fight what appears to be an unwinnable battle but ultimately no one knows that for a fact.
The only true ‘unwinnable’ battle is the one not fought.

We all have to make decisions in life that require taking sides. The Christian way of life is getting to look more ‘foolish’ by the day, as sin progresses and God appears to be doing nothing or not listening. Don’t worry, this is going to change and probably sooner than later. In the mean time, I will continue working on dying to self daily and looking like the fool. My greatest fear is not dying as a fool, but living as a coward.